Updated: Oct 8
Young people are growing up in a different world than I did. They have emotional intelligence not seen in past generations. They are empowered and aware of their rights.
As a young woman, I didn't always protect my boundaries or even set them. Setting boundaries at the start of any relationship at work, school, or in your personl life is important to the health and well being of yourself and those close to you. Let others know where you stand because being clear is being kind.
Words like yes and no do not have feelings, but they will evoke emotions from the people they are being said to. I thought I'd share boundary phrases you can added to you toolbox. I call it a tool box because we use it tool like this to construct the life we want. I tell my children having good boundaries helps keep your ducks in a row, so to speak.
Here are some effective boundary phrases you can put into practice:
I'm uncomfortable with XYZ
I am speaking.
Lower your volume or we will need to discuss this at another time.
I need space. ( works for physical or emotional)
It's ok if you don't like me; I like myself.
I don't owe anyone an explanation.
I don't accept how you are speaking to me.
I'm better than no one and no one is better than me.
Having emotions doesn't make me any less competent.
I do not need to change myself for your comfort.
No is a complete sentence.
Respect my boundaries.
I am not repeat myself.
My body is not for you to comment on, so don't comment on my body.
I am not required to fit yours or anyones standards.
I don't want to be touched like that.
Take your hands off of me.
I'm not responsible for your behavior.
You can't use guilt, to control me. It will not work.
I have a right to be angry (upset).
My feelings are equally as important as yours.
If you choose to ignore me that's your problem, not mine.
I'm not prepared to discuss this any further.
We can discuss this at a later date. I need a break.
We can agree to disagree. I'm not discussing this further.
My body. My choice!
...more boundary phrases for the workplace.
Feel free to share some of your boundary phrases not covered in the comments.